Tuesday, 6 October 2015

When you are with people, you have little time or energy to connect with your surroundings. I think people have more memories with people, And I have more memories with a place. I remember how inside of Lahore airport feels at night, how the excitement and sadness of people is palpable at the gates, how airport looks like a portal to another world, how nationalities seem to become less relevant as different people stand in queues together. I remember thinking I would want to spend my last days in an airport, it would feel less like departure, and more like a journey to another place. Any sadness would be dealt with dismissively. 'Death' would lose its finality, it will resonate with 'transit' .
I remember how i walked alone, in the corridors of my college,how it felt before taking a major exam, or preparing for a difficult viva. How studying alone, in long winter nights felt.. How beautiful the mornings looked, from the window. How slipping into the comfort of my bed was profoundly relaxing.How looking at the ink stains on my hands after taking the final exam was oddly satisfying.
I remember how it felt to sit alone in the evening, watching the people go by. I remember feeling that a pack of cheetos (extra spicy : red hot) with something good to read/watch would make my day after i go home. I remember how evening feels, what are the sounds of the evening in these places . I have been conscious about my feelings, I have wallowed in them. I have been alone in my company.I have thought and lived within myself. 

Sometimes I look at the people and I want to alleviate their suffering and share their loss. But i feel that there is nothing I can do, I cannot bring back anyone's loved one. I am at loss for words, helpless against the tyranny of situations. Of happiness I am a silent spectator because someone who is so fulfilled can do without me. Either way I stand back and walk on the road less traveled by.
I am aware of how the world is changing, every moment and how I am only witnessing it for a short time. The people whose eyes I can see through, are very important for me.

1 comment:

  1. Nothing can give you the sense of peace and serenity than spending time with yourself, forgetting the worryings and just enjoying the sight of sunset or sunrise while having a cup of tea, the occasional walks down the road or trip to the park, but people say that its about finding the right person!

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