It didn't start like this.
First day in medical college was just a blur. There were two many new things to adapt to. The concept of an attendance sheet was a new one. Everybody carefully put a little tick next to his name and passed it on.
It didn't stay like this , however . It changed as time passed, friendships developed and groups formed. Now at the sight of that white peace of paper, one pair of eyes would glisten with the desire to put fancy ticks next to all the roll numbers assigned to her friends. The task was done efficiently. It was a one person job. It was a token of acceptance into a group. It gave a sense of belonging to all the people who did not have to muster up the enormous courage that is required for the arduous task of marking attendance. It made things romantic.
All was well until...
Time passed. Bonds broke. Bitterness arose. Friends changed. Enemies softened. People determined their centers of attraction. Other determined their source of affection. Time brought some close and drew some apart. And the attendance sheet tradition was the marker to judge...how you weigh in the scale of your past friendships.
It became a ritual. A breaking of bonds signified there would be no tick mark next to my roll number when the attendance sheet reached me ( Or I would not have to make it in case it reached ME before my friend-turned-stranger). A bitterness could be manifested in a number of ways. It could be absent tick marks, or just-there tick marks half-heartedly put and sometimes very strangely, attendance was always marked when the sheet was passed on to the particular outcast of the group.
It went from being romantic to awkward. Reassuring, to thoroughly confusing.
It gave an insight into dynamics of people's behavior.
It showed how many people couldn't quite let go.
Or how, so many people could break your heart yet not dare to break the ties.
Marking attendance then became a ritual. To observe, to reflect upon, and to investigate the hidden meanings of under detailed scrutiny.
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