Hiralious

You know you have me shocked when your arm slides behind my back like a slithering snake and I am too startled to respond. I can slap a man who touches me on a random bus, slapping my employer of years, with whom i have maintained a respectful relation for a long time and whom i view in an entirely different paradigm, is not something i can do on the spur of the moment. The same way you cannot just quit even an abusive marriage abruptly. Sometimes you are frozen. You know you can make me freeze.

 

You know I fasten my pace when you call me titles from behind.

 You know i look away, when you look at my body like it's yours.

You know I feel helpless, when i cannot even contest the idea that i am made for your pleasure.

 You know  it is a breach of our professional relation , when you text me outside of office timings for reasons which are not work-related. 

 You know you put me on a spot, because my only two options are, being curt with you and spoiling the rapport at work, or being nice to you and playing along. Convenience determines an obvious choice here.

You know you are overstepping a line when you invite me to to lunch and make it sound like business, putting the burden of maintaining a rapport with you on me. 

 I know that you know, because if you didn't, you wouldn't get enraged if the women in your life had these things happen to them. 

You know there are things you do that make me uncomfortable, at work, at the shopping mall, on the road, in the vegetable market, at the gym, at the home.

But you still do it, because you are simply 'taking a chance'

It's benign. This is a a part of you, not even a fault of you. And if i accept any of your offerings, whatever happens to me as a result is ' my fault'.

 It is my responsibility to think of ways to model my life around your benign chance-taking , as it is your nature to put out.

 What's heart breaking is, you know you make my life difficult. You know no one can possibly enjoy living life on a curfew, but you do it. You do it without a second thought without being a specially malevolent person. 

 You do it because the prevalent tilted sense of justice makes you feel its ok. If i am an honorable woman, i would know what to do in each situation; save myself. You want me to accept you but expect me to reject you.

  You know, it must be fun to lead this life of self-serving hypocrisy and unconditional acceptance . But for me the roads are narrow, the days are short, the nights are long, the words are taunts, your stares burn holes in my clothes , i am always on my guard and i have never known the pleasure of a leisurely stroll ever since i stopped being a child.  Such is the benign longing of my 'feminism' that you mock!