"I don't smoke in front of my parents" , " But don't tell my wife" , " i would rather not ask my husband " , a little sigh of relief that exits the innermost recesses of your being when everybody has gone and left you to yourself. It is all indicative of the fact that we are a little bit fake around the people we are afraid to lose.
And why wouldn't we be ? The next thing we do after loving someone is assuming an unquestioned, unchallenged right over them. We do and feel it too, their minds whizzing when we suddenly confront them about something, the truths that are promised in desperation, the tears that we don't buy, their apologetic tone while they are only manifesting their true selves, the fact that one look from you can freeze them in their tracks when they are gliding carelessly in an ocean of mirth.The next thing love becomes is our ego feed. We feel that the satisfaction of control over someone is worth it. But it is also true that fears corrupt situations. What they want , and what we want , transform into what we have to do, leaving little space for unchecked exhilaration that we felt in the start.
Perhaps it is not all that bad though. A promised meal at the end of the day, or promised explanations, this is the stability we may crave at one point. It's a bargain.
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