Hiralious

The best suited profession to me was law. I would have been a lawyer.  I have questions about that,  I would have picked very selective cases about which I was convinced that I was not defending a criminal (individual or mentality ).
But the need to settle things , the itch to pin blame , the hunger for conclusion , the problem with 'settlements'... I could make a profession out of it.
Sometimes it's more liberating for me to rationalize and find that I was at fault in a situation , because I am the only person who is in my control. When I own the blame , anger goes out where acceptance comes in , the path becomes clear.  Because now the things are under my control.
I can see where the cracks are , I call fill them in.

It is frustrating. And very hard for me to feel that an argument with a worthy person was not seen to its end. That some ends were left loose. That no conclusion was drawn. That whatever emotion the other person has settled on is not an informed one.
Sometimes long after a conversation has taken place ,one  that did not lift my heart , I think of a point.  And when I do , I want to say it to the person. World is free to interpret it as an obsession, as my inability to let go. What they don't understand is that I want to reverse the entropy. I want to instill some system in this chaotic world. I want words to have more value than people are willing to give them. I want to fix the loopholes in narratives. But it's always not under my control. I have to leave it to the people to see the cracks.