There is a little girl at the subway, in pink ponytails. She is wearing a backpack and is probably 5-6 years old. She clutches at the jacket of the woman next to her. The woman turns around and smacks her on the arm. "You are so disrespectful" . She snaps at the little girl.
I observe the silent figure of the little girl. Her tiny frame is the most adorable thing in the entire subway station. She looks at the elder woman, visibly scared and shocked. She doesn't cry. She doesn't answer back. She just stands and stares. It is not in the insolent fashion of a regular teenager. It is the timid way a prey looks at the predator when it figures that running will be useless. And then, the angels stand in silence and all the rainbows in the world disappear as a little hand emerges from pocket of a little red coat, takes off the spectacles perched on a little nose, and rubs two eyes on a little face, one after the other.
I wish I could hug her. I wish I could tell her that she didn't deserve to be snapped at. But I know with a sense of certainty by now, that whatever hot and cold treatment , or rebuke wrapped in love she receives now, she will begin to consider it love. Even if it makes her feel hurt, hollow or sad. She will never know there is another way to be, or another way to be loved. And I know that whatever one person 'deserves', no matter how good they are, is in the end at the mercy of other people. And life is not fair.
However many tears that little girl had in her eyes, i had more. And my heart feels split in two.
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