When the heat of the flame touches your finger, your reflex is to withdraw the finger. You identify with the feeling as pain. Your memory helps you avoid the actions that hurt you physically. We are not as clear about the psychological pain. Facing even the worst of it, sometimes we keep standing there with our hand in the fire, thinking the tperhaps our pain is imagined or that maybe we earned it. We wait for someone to come there, yank our hand out of the fire and tell us that we are in fact, very hurt. The feeling that this pain is not unreal . That it is not a unreasonable option to withdraw our hand.
It sounds strange but I feel it is true. As we grow up, moving away from a source of pain becomes an act of defiance, not just on account of how uncertain you may be made to feel by those who claim to love you the most and want the status quo to remain, but also because of the rarity of such acts.
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