Today I was very mean to a person who cut the queue in front of me. What he did was wrong, but he was an old man who appeared to be from a village, and I just lost my temper at him and said : Aap ko zada jaldi hai? (Are you in a special hurry?) I don't talk this way to people. I don't talk this way to old people particularly. The look of shock on my father's face made my heart plummet. Whatever pain I have, and whatever accumulated hurt I am bearing the burden of, I don't want to turn into this person who is unkind to people.
Yet it came out of me as a reflex. I really really meant pure anger at the old man. Shame and regret gripped me, I couldn't face his eyes. I knew i am now doomed to remember this forever.
Is that so easy? People fall prey to their first instincts, when they are in a hyper defensive mode and that is it. You can be really mean when you feel that you have to defend yourself because no one else will.
No comments:
Post a Comment