Hiralious

I think , above everything, the litmus test of true love is a person having benevolent explanations for the others' actions. The next time , somebody says something against a loved one, and you justify their actions as a knee-jerk reflex, you love that person, (perhaps so much that you can cease to be fair) It happens all the time. Usually, mothers are the most biased lovers of people. And in doing that, they can get really unfair with others.
     On the other end are those relations, about whom, we will readily believe the assumptions , our gut feelings, the intrinsic dislike without  being suspicious of our own motivations. We will imagine and believe the worst explanations for their behavior.  We will hunt for circumstantial evidence and make stories in our minds that justify our moral high ground or our righteousness against that person. It is all imagined . And its very likely that the other person imagines the same things about us. There's cause for us to be wary about these inclinations. This is the true test of your integrity that how strictly you evaluate yourself. Most people can vouch for their loved ones and family, there are a very few people who are willing to self-examine their biases.
     We cannot possibly aim to get along well with everybody in the world. But at the same time, it is wrong for us to believe in our assumptions about people, it is not only unfair to them, it is an unnecessary burden to tug along.Just as if you are walking with a pebble in the shoe, you can only feel that your experience is not perfect, hostility is a powerful distraction . It takes up more space than all the positive thoughts  and creative energy combined together.  You cannot co-exist with it and live harmoniously. Its wise to terms with the fact that not everybody is going to like you and it's their own mind and their own right. It doesn't make them bad people (unless they do bad to us). It is not our job to do calculations about it.