Hiralious

Do people get used to it ? The life in a hospital, The smell of the disinfectant, the paper work ,  the mechanical feel of the transactions with pharmacy ? do they believe that some magic pills will put a stop to the disease that is advancing it's hold on a loved one ?
I have been on both ends of the doctor - patient routine. It's obvious why there is an emphasis on ethics, and empathy during our training  because the divide between perspectives is guaranteed. As sure as anything. We look upto a doctor with a mix of something that is beyond gratitude, it is hope. It is closest thing to sacred that I have seen in human interactions.
As a doctor I know , and I admit that the art of medicine is formula based. That it's not upto us. That the burden we are trusted with is too great , yet it is an honor.  And honor is a concept I am naturally allergic to.  Militaries wreaking havoc upon innocent civilians ascribe it to honor , the tales of brutal warriors are told in the shade of honor,  in Pakistan there are even more maddening and gut wrenching concepts of honor.
Knowing that honor is not and should not be an uncontested concept. I believe  that my wish , the burning urge , the itch to help patients out, to take their vitals , to counsel them, to help them out, to administer their drugs , sitting as an attendant in Gynae opd of a private hospital during one of the rare breaks from tedious work , has to be explained by something which is above and beyond the give and take practicality of life.