Children are beautiful without any effort. Their faces symmetrical , not yet changed by habits that will alter the features slowly but surely , their hair , whether curly or straight retain a character of their own, their skin has a glow that is the envy of many girls in their prime.
As they grow up , they start changing. Environmental influences , radiation , sleeping patterns , state of nourishment , different things seem to have as mighty an influence on the appearance as DNA has. The wave of change doesn't stop at the outside. We , as children , were transparent. Our happiness wasn't subsided by any etiquette , our sorrow was a call for others to comfort us , our jealousy when someone else's birthday cake was cut , was there for all to see. If we could only see our needs, we were vocal about them. We didnt pretend otherwise.We were self centered unabashedly. From reddening of the cheeks to the tantrums thrown , we dealt with things that happened to us with more honesty than now.
We have remained selfish but what we do now is worse than what we did before.We have somehow learnt to disown all those emotions that make us look vulnerable, except kindness which makes us look vulnerable in a good light. The reason is our obsession with grandiosity. If we called that nagging hurt jealousy, it would position the person we were jealous of at a superior place. So we learn to hide our truest emotions behind a facade that would enable a favorable view of us in front of the world. We like to pretend that we are not self centered, and we are better than that.In lying to ourselves , we suspect others of the same dishonesty.We suspect everyone to have a motive , after the slightest provocation. We stop believing in anything wonderful that ever happens to us.
World is a very competitive place and instead of accepting it we condemn it, though we secretly only want to be better than others. An average human spends most of his /her life between folds of this duality. These are truly , the shackles of one's own creation.
Great Thoughts....
ReplyDeleteSplendid
ReplyDeleteI have struggled with something similar. I have written about it in my blog. I have come to understand it as human-ness. It is human to be grey. It is human to be black and white too, sometimes. It is human to be a dynamic waveform. To be hurt, vile, evil or jealous or disproportionately and unreasonably kind .
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