Limits of fun

I like to hang around people who know how to have fun without feeling guilty. I think I don't remember many instances of having fun without feeling guilty. I know the reminder that the parents were doing so much for us was a true one. But I felt guilty in my heart , guilty before I could ask for one more hour in the park , guilty before I could ask for anything. And I know I would have got anything had I asked for it. But at a young age , I learnt to balance guilt and desire. Seemingly harmless statements such as 'you have had too much of fun already, and still you wont listen to me ' made a way for the guilt.The reminders didn't make me a content person. They opened a trade route between guilt and happiness . Slowly I became wary of too much happiness , too much enjoyment.  Except the enjoyment I got from myself , the leisurely walks into the garden of thoughts. That kind of fun started and ended at my will. I began to prefer it over other things. Because all people have a point of exhaustion. And they usually set their threshold low.