We all employ those expressions as figure of speech in our everyday conversation which are a very obvious exaggeration of whatever we are feeling. We say we are 'screwed' if a test goes bad, we are 'dead' if we get our foot hurt badly, we are 'over the moon' if someone special compliments us. Most of us do not settle with 'fine' for an answer in reply to a formal inquiry about our state of being that how are we? We exaggerate, so much and so frequently. Yet today I knew what it is like to have my heart in my mouth. And there is no other way of explaining what i feel.
My father is diabetic (NIDDM) and far away from home. He has to take care of himself , cook for himself, make bed for himself and do everything one's required to do in order to survive , by himself. He has always been the person around whom everybody feels a sense of comfort, and dependence because when he's in charge, matters are seen to, things are taken care of to near-perfection and no one has to worry. All of this without any hassle.
My mother is a house of diseases, from hyperthyroidism to ulcer, she has it all. As a result she is always very anxious and needs to be comforted from time to time. She takes care of us all like a mother bird. Upto this date I have never had to worry about what to wear to school, what to eat, or even where to get very personal items of importance. She does absolutely everything for her kids. She has basically spoon-fed us to date.
I love my parents. I have never shied from accepting or showing it. Even when we have issues, even when we have fights, even when sometimes my views are not accepted by them, I love them with intensity of sunlight in a bare desert. I feel like I owe everything I am made of to them , in the end. Today just randomly, i was thinking about my life 10 years from now and among the obscure folds of vision the most clear thing was my family with addition of some members. And then i thought the forbidden thought, what if i don't have them tomorrow? What if i were to exist alone?
I had no answer. Absolutely none. Could i imagine waking up with the knowledge of not having my mother by my side? Yes. Could i imagine living through the pain? No. Could i imagine never hearing my father's voice or deriving comfort from the most re-assuring hug in the world? Yes. Could i imagine being able to survive? No.
Your relationship with your parents runs deeper than your skin. It is a part of your soul, like an integral component of you. You cannot lose a parent and survive intact. This will be true for most, I do not find myself capable of the remarkable feat of such a survival alone.
So today for a while I had my heart in my mouth and I couldn't breathe and I had a blackout. Just because of an imagination.
My father is diabetic (NIDDM) and far away from home. He has to take care of himself , cook for himself, make bed for himself and do everything one's required to do in order to survive , by himself. He has always been the person around whom everybody feels a sense of comfort, and dependence because when he's in charge, matters are seen to, things are taken care of to near-perfection and no one has to worry. All of this without any hassle.
My mother is a house of diseases, from hyperthyroidism to ulcer, she has it all. As a result she is always very anxious and needs to be comforted from time to time. She takes care of us all like a mother bird. Upto this date I have never had to worry about what to wear to school, what to eat, or even where to get very personal items of importance. She does absolutely everything for her kids. She has basically spoon-fed us to date.
I love my parents. I have never shied from accepting or showing it. Even when we have issues, even when we have fights, even when sometimes my views are not accepted by them, I love them with intensity of sunlight in a bare desert. I feel like I owe everything I am made of to them , in the end. Today just randomly, i was thinking about my life 10 years from now and among the obscure folds of vision the most clear thing was my family with addition of some members. And then i thought the forbidden thought, what if i don't have them tomorrow? What if i were to exist alone?
I had no answer. Absolutely none. Could i imagine waking up with the knowledge of not having my mother by my side? Yes. Could i imagine living through the pain? No. Could i imagine never hearing my father's voice or deriving comfort from the most re-assuring hug in the world? Yes. Could i imagine being able to survive? No.
Your relationship with your parents runs deeper than your skin. It is a part of your soul, like an integral component of you. You cannot lose a parent and survive intact. This will be true for most, I do not find myself capable of the remarkable feat of such a survival alone.
So today for a while I had my heart in my mouth and I couldn't breathe and I had a blackout. Just because of an imagination.
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