Drowning voices

'Marry had a little lamb
little lamb, little lamb'
Singing the nursery rhyme on top of her voice, she was going round and round in circles. Round and round, round and round, until her vision could not hold onto anything in the surroundings and her head felt dizzy. She swayed as she stopped. Giggling..She started singing again : 'Marry had a little lamb, little lamb , little lamb.'



No one could stop her. She spread her arms wide , becoming a perfect impersonation of a beautiful bird. She could fly. She wanted to fly. And she wanted candies. And she wanted a UFO. And she wanted plenty of barbie dolls.

But one thing she wanted more than anything else was to become deaf.

She wanted to become deaf so that she would not have to hide herself from the voices behind the door. Loud , shouting voices which made her heart beat at double its rate. Sometimes her ears picked up the sound of shattering glass. Then her mind marvelled on the transformation her mother's sweet voice had undertaken behind that door. Just Last Sunday, she heard really bad words she wasn't supposed to hear which made her turn deep red, the color of fresh apple from the yard.

Later in  bed, she remembered the evening when her father had talked her out of calling people 'bad names'.  This was so unfair, considering the 'bitches' she was surrounded with at junior form. But dad had made no allowances. He had told her not to speak ill of anyone. Ever. Because fairies don't bid such kids goodnight. and Santa doesn't put them on their christmas list.

She thought sadly of father. Sad because she knew santa won't put daddy on his christmas list EVERR.

But that was last sunday and now a week had gone by without her having to hide under the bed scared of her parents fighting. It was the best week of her life. She wished it would stay this way until it didn't. Now she didn't wish so anymore.

Praying for an 'accident' that would make her deaf, she decided she would be louder than the voices. With her sound pitched to an even  higher decibel, she went round and round in circles until her head hurt. She stopped as the world swimming before her eyes became too fast ever for her liking. Trying to grab hold of something solid she fell hard on the floor. All she remembered seeing before the yellow stars on the curtains of her eyes took her to a deep sleep was the fan smiling at her. She had successfuly drowned the voices behind the door. The voices of her parents fighting. And no matter how her head hurt, her heart didn't hurt so much. She was so glad she did that.
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